Today was a rough one. It has been one of those days where pretty much anything can make me cry and I just might snap at anyone. That's what happens to me when I get 3-4 hours of broken sleep and I'm the only one home and the kids are, well, being toddlers. Because I have three of them now. As a Mom it is really easy to fall into selfishness. When your four year old comes in wanting his favorite show on and your two and a half year old is whining for milk all while your fifteen month old is crying in her crib and all at 6:30 a.m., it's hard to find the strength to get up. Especially when you didn't fall asleep until 1 a.m. and were up at least four times with the kids since then. I am convinced this is why God created coffee, to keep more moms out of the mental institute.
Anyway, as I was saying, it is easy to fall into selfishness. I struggle with this a lot. On those mornings, I would love to say that I jump out of bed and say "Sure Honey! Let's go Sweet Pea. How about a hug and a kiss for Mommy?" But the truth is, on those morning I often think, I don't want Jake to be at work. I don't want to get up. I want to pull the covers over my head and sleep for the entire day. I would have to say that it is the number one thing I struggle with as a mom, because I have always enjoyed my sleep. Ask my family and friends. Before kids, I would go to bed late and sleep until noon sometimes. No joke. But I also didn't drink coffee then either.
Even though it's a struggle, I love it. I love that I have three kids to get up and get breakfast for and get dressed. I love that I have people who are dependent on me. Why? Because it is the ultimate lesson on selflessness. And selflessness, in my opinion, is a crucial characteristic to have in this world. I think it would make our world a completely different place if we all had it. Now don't think that I do, because I don't, I'm working on it. But it is an amazing lesson to learn.
On days like this, after I put the kids to bed, I have some "Me" time to unwind. Sometimes I have a glass of wine and watch a movie. Or when Jake is home we laugh and watch a movie and have adult conversations. Do you remember when you were little and thought that your Mom and Dad had no life outside of being Mom and Dad? I totally remember thinking that my parents went to bed when I went to bed and were only on this earth to take care of my sisters and I. It's so strange and funny to think they were people, just like Jake and I. They probably did the same thing when I was a kid. It's funny how being a mom can change your whole perspective on your own parents in that time period of your life.
No comments:
Post a Comment