Being a parent is not for the faint of heart.

And to think, I haven't even reached the difficult stuff yet! Well, changing diapers every hour, not sleeping and dealing with tantrums is rather exhausting which makes it difficult, but I'm talking D-I-F-F-I-C-U-L-T. Like when your teenage daughter brings home a boy with dime sized diamonds in his ears and his pants sagging so far down his a*$ he can't even reach to get his wallet. Or when your son wants to go to Mexico with his friends at 17 and party. Boy oh boy, I'm glad I have some time before that stuff comes knocking at my door! But in a weird way, I'm also looking forward to it. Because those are the parenting opportunities that will shape your kids into who they will become in society. Those are the difficult times that when all is said and done, no matter how hard, you'll be glad that you stuck to your parenting guns and cracked down on them. Not that changing diapers isn't an important parenting task, but wiping poop off of a little tushy isn't exactly going to shape who they are. 

Jake and I watched Courageous last night. It really got me fired up and thinking even more about a topic that I feel so completely passionate about. Fatherhood. Now, don't go pointing fingers yet moms because this totally applies to us to. Fatherhood. Motherhood. IMPORTANT. CRUCIAL. LIFE ALTERING. Sadly, our world has long ago lost site of the importance of, arguably, the most important job on earth. Parenting. We've all heard the saying: "Any fool can conceive a child, but it takes a real man to be a Dad." Statements don't get much truer than that. Any guy can have a great time and walk away, but it takes a man, a courageous man to stay and fight the good fight for their child's life. The same goes for moms, we must keep going, no matter how tired and stressed we are. No matter how hard or impossible it seems because it is our job! And it is an important job!

Now, don't go thinking I'm a perfect parent. Huh! Far from it. I have my days when I want to give up. In fact, last year was hands down the hardest year of my life. I wanted to give up on a daily basis. Juggling three kids three and under, all in diapers, was no party. It was stressful and for most of it I felt like I was in a fog. But now that the fog is starting to clear, I'm so incredibly happy and grateful that Jake and I kept going. A lot of couples would have been divorced by now with the stress we went through, but we fought hard and kept our heads above water and just..kept...going. Now that things are starting to get easier, I can not express to you how happy I am that we held on and kept going because I know that our marriage is becoming stronger than ever even after our weakest point and I know that we will be good models to our children.

After watching that movie I was so sad. So sad that so many kids in this world do not have people to love on them and push them in the right direction. The statistics are staggering. I will share a few with you that will shock you:

§  According to a U.S, Census Bureau report , over 25 million children live apart from their biological fathers. That is 1 out of every 3 (34.5%) children in America. Nearly 2 in 3 (65%) African American children live in fatherless homes. Nearly 4 in 10 (36%) Hispanic children, and nearly 3 in 10 (27%) white children live in fatherless homes.

§  From 1960 to 1995, the proportion of children living in single-parent homes have tripled, increasing from 9 percent to 27 percent, and the proportion of children living with married parents declined.

§  Between 1960 and 2006, the number of children living in single-mother families grew from 8 percent to 23.3 percent.

§  34 percent of children currently live apart from their biological father.

§  Today, half of all children, and 80 percent of African American children, can expect to live at least part of their childhood living apart from their fathers.                           

If you think those are shocking, these literally shook me to my core. They made me sick to my stomach and stirred up a passion in me I cannot describe:

1)     63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes 

--U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census

2)     85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes 

--Center for Disease Control

3)     80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes 

--Criminal Justice and Behavior, Vol. 14, p. 403-26

4)     71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes 

--National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools

5)     70% of juveniles in state operated institutions come from fatherless homes 

--U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report Sept., 1988

6)     85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home 

--Fulton County Georgia jail populations & Texas Dept. of Corrections, 1992

And some more devastating statistics about fatherless homes:

• Children in fatherless homes are 5 times more likely to commit suicide 
• Children in fatherless homes are 32 times more likely to run away 
• Children in fatherless homes are 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders 
• Children in fatherless homes are 14 times more likely to commit rape 
• Children in fatherless homes are 9 times more likely to drop out of school
• Children in fatherless homes are 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances
• Children in fatherless homes are 9 times more likely to end up in a state operated institution 
• Childrenin fatherless homes are 20 times more likely to end up in prison 

So men, if you think for even an instant that you are not needed, you could not be more wrong. You are not only needed in your child's life but you are CRUCIAL in your child's life. It's constantly pushed in media today that women don't need a man to have a baby, they only need sperm. Now, read the statistics above and try to tell me that women do not need men to raise a child. The statistics don't lie. 

Step up and be a man. Step up and be a DAD to your child, even if he/she was not planned or anticipated. It's the greatest thing you will ever do and the greatest gift you can ever give to our world. 

Sick Day

If something is going well, never think about it or inevitably something will turn that around for you. Okay, not really, but in this case it did. I was just thinking the other day that for as little sleep as I get, I hadn't been sick in a while. Even after we started Isaiah in preschool, he and our family had only had two minor colds and a couple of random fevers for the kids. I like to think that's because Jake and I have always felt very strongly about not being paranoid and taking our kids to the park and various germ exposing places often. But two days ago I started getting a very minor cold.....or so I thought. I was thankful Jake was on a three day off period because I thought that would be plenty of time for me to get over this MINOR cold. WRONG! In the middle of the night last night that thing mustered up all it had and clothes lined me. Never saw it coming.

Needless to say, I've been in bed all day. ALL DAY. Do you know how hard that is for a mom? It drives me nuts! I told Jake, "I don't know what's worse, feeling like crap? Or not being able to do anything?" I still don't know. I always feel guilty when I'm sick and Jake has to do everything. I don't know why I do that to myself, it's so stupid! He never makes me feel that way, but I always do. So I end up laying in bed feeling guilty all day. It sucks. But even in sickness I like to "check" myself. Meaning, I like to try to think of something good about it. Without fail, military spouses always pop into my head. How do they do it? When they are sick, their husbands/wives can't just stay home from work. They HAVE to do it. That's when I'm thankful that I have a husband who has a job where he is able to call in sick and I'm extremely thankful for our military families.

You see, when you're a mom, most of the time there is no "calling in sick". It's a job that doesn't allow for that. When you have a migraine, or you're exhausted from getting no sleep the night before, or you have a cold and just aren't feeling good, you suck it up. You suck it up and you usually take care of all the other sick people in your house. Whenever I tell Jake I feel bad that he has to stay home on occasions like this, he likes to remind me of that. He reminds me that when he's at work, he can get away with a cold because he doesn't have three small children to take care of all day. But when you're a mom, you're at work from 6am until 9pm non-stop. So I try to remember that and give myself a break.

I'm trying to "enjoy" my sick day laying in bed watching TV, surfing the net on my laptop, crocheting, and best of all, cuddling with my little love bugs :)

Speaking of "little love bugs" here are some pics of my sweet baby girl who apparently grew up over night. She climbs on EVERYTHING! I thought the boys were crazy, oh no, she is way crazier with climbing. We found her up in the play structure yesterday and realized that she figured out how to climb up the ladder into it. Then we found her in the fireplace and her new favorite spot, her brother's bed which she can climb in and out of! Crazy girl.

Stepping Stones

When you're a little girl and you dream of meeting your Prince Charming, having the perfect wedding and becoming a mother, you're filled with the innocence of childhood and the complete obliviousness to any imperfections or mishaps that come with life. And thank God for that. Thank God that at one point in our lives we were oblivious to the real world. Thank God that at one point in our lives nothing was tainted and the worst thing we had to worry about was having to eat our vegetables and take a nap. Because as you get older, you quickly find out that Prince Charming may exist....but he is human. That your perfect wedding can be possible, but not without family drama and ending up with some poorly taken photos. And last but not least, that becoming a mother will come easy or without tears shed, grey hair, zits you haven't seen since puberty and patience....lots of patience.

Oh Isaiah, my sweet first born Isaiah. My handsome, witty, inteligent, quirky, determined Isaiah. He changed my world, he really did, for the better. But he has also completely rocked my world sideways. When you're a little girl playing with those dolls, feeding them their little plastic bottle, changing their fake diapers and putting them in their bed as you run off to do something else....no one ever prepares you for the day you'll really feed them and they'll throw up all over you, you'll end up with diahrrea up their back and all over you at the grocery store, or the endless sleepless nights. Those things suck, but I can handle them. But no one ever prepares you for a four year old that just will not give-in and has to have the last say in everything all while giving you the look with more attitude than a teenage girl. I love him, I truly do, but man, he's exhausting!!

I picked Isaiah up from preschool the other day and his teacher said "We had a rough day today. He just really had a hard time listening to instruction." And I thought to myself "Isaiah? Not listen? No!" (Note the sarcasm). But she also told me that he is extremely smart and a loving and fun kid, but he is just strong willed. Strong willed is an understatement for Isaiah. Every day, without fail, he fights me to do everything. Get dressed? Nope, he wants to be naked. Brush his teeth? Nope, he wants his teeth to fall out of his head. Put a jacket on? Nope, he would rather freeze. Defiant does not do him justice. And it is hard. It is by far the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life raising that sweet boy. But I know, I know in my heart that someday I will look back and be thankful for where this experience will take me.

In the end, I think his determination and strong will will end up being a good thing for him, but as a toddler it is one of the most frustrating things to deal with. That's why I am convinced that is the reason God made them so cute. Why God gives you moments like when he curls up next to me on the couch and says he just wants to cuddle. Moments like when he tells me he loves me, or when I watch him giggle so innocently at the movie he's watching. Or when he hugs his sister so sweetly and says "I love you my cutie pie." These moments are my stepping stones. They help me wade through the hard, frustrating times to find my way to the truth. That I am blessed, so very, very blessed to be these kids' mom. No matter how hard it may be, I know the truth. I could not be any luckier.

Moments like these:

There isn't enough time. No really.....there isn't.

Two weeks ago when our world had pretty much crashed down on top of us..... well, maybe just the piled up laundry, dishes, toys and crumbs on the floor, Jake and I decided we had had enough. Things not getting done made us fight constantly, stressed us out, and made us feel like we were drowning. I used to not care about a messy room when I was growing up. Ask my friend Emily. When she would come over to stay at my place we would have to move laundry off of my bed and kick dirty clothes around to be able to walk. It was bad, but I didn't care. Now....I care. I don't like living in a mess. It literally gives me heart palpitations. So Jake and I decided in order for us to be mentally healthy, we needed to step it up and figure it out.

Our first step was a cleaning schedule. We wrote down a list of our daily chores, weekly chores and monthly chores. We then divided them between the two of us (I would pick up his daily chores while he is at work every other day) and put them on a calendar. I have to say, so far, it has helped SO MUCH. Neither Jake or I are leaders. I never have been, I don't know about Jake, but I need direction. Which I think is what has made being a stay-at-home mom so hard for me. You don't have a boss. Essentially, you're in charge of what needs to get done and your kids count on you. Which is maybe why I've wandered around like a chicken with its head cut off for the past three years squawking  "For goodness sake somebody tell me what to do!!!!"

I always felt like I was playing catch up. Oh wait, that's because I have three toddlers and until they are in school I will ALWAYS be playing catch up! Now that I've realized that, the stress has eased some. My day consists of cleaning, more cleaning, and then some more cleaning. Why? Because as I'm cleaning in one room, the kids are either in that room messing up what I just did, or they are in the other room being sure to make it unrecognizable when I walk back in. I've realized I have to get over having a perfectly organized and clean house if I want to enjoy my kids. I HAVE TO. But the cleaning calendar has made me feel so much better because I know that the things that are disgusting and need to be done to keep the house sanitary are getting done at least daily or weekly, but I don't feel overwhelmed because we've broken them up.

Although, we ran into a problem. There isn't enough time in the day. No seriously, as we were coming up with a daily schedule, we really ran out of time in the day to get everything done in one day. It's so funny how time is all in perspective. For instance, what in the heck did I do with my free time when I was single and had no kids? I think about how boring my life must have been. Or now that I've stopped doing the crocheting business as much, it's amazing how I feel like I have so much more time each day when I used to think I had little to none before I did the crocheting thing!

It's nice now that the kids are out of the infant stage to actually be able to do stuff together as a family. Such as yesterday. We all went for a bike ride to the school down the street and let the kids play around for an hour or so. And you know what? Jake and I actually got to talk while they played! Arielle is able to climb and play now and we don't have to be on her constantly! It was nice. It was refreshing. I'll always miss having a baby but I must say, it really is getting easier. One simple thing at a time, but it's getting easier and I feel like I might be able to breathe again someday soon :)

I'll leave you with some pics from our fun family day yesterday. Enjoy!

My Mom had a life other than me? Wow.

Today was a rough one. It has been one of those days where pretty much anything can make me cry and I just might snap at anyone. That's what happens to me when I get 3-4 hours of broken sleep and I'm the only one home and the kids are, well, being toddlers. Because I have three of them now. As a Mom it is really easy to fall into selfishness. When your four year old comes in wanting his favorite show on and your two and a half year old is whining for milk all while your fifteen month old is crying in her crib and all at 6:30 a.m., it's hard to find the strength to get up. Especially when you didn't fall asleep until 1 a.m. and were up at least four times with the kids since then. I am convinced this is why God created coffee, to keep more moms out of the mental institute.

Anyway, as I was saying, it is easy to fall into selfishness. I struggle with this a lot. On those mornings, I would love to say that I jump out of bed and say "Sure Honey! Let's go Sweet Pea. How about a hug and a kiss for Mommy?" But the truth is, on those morning I often think, I don't want Jake to be at work. I don't want to get up. I want to pull the covers over my head and sleep for the entire day. I would have to say that it is the number one thing I struggle with as a mom, because I have always enjoyed my sleep. Ask my family and friends. Before kids, I would go to bed late and sleep until noon sometimes. No joke. But I also didn't drink coffee then either.

Even though it's a struggle, I love it. I love that I have three kids to get up and get breakfast for and get dressed. I love that I have people who are dependent on me. Why? Because it is the ultimate lesson on selflessness. And selflessness, in my opinion, is a crucial characteristic to have in this world. I think it would make our world a completely different place if we all had it. Now don't think that I do, because I don't, I'm working on it. But it is an amazing lesson to learn.

On days like this, after I put the kids to bed, I have some "Me" time to unwind. Sometimes I have a glass of wine and watch a movie. Or when Jake is home we laugh and watch a movie and have adult conversations. Do you remember when you were little and thought that your Mom and Dad had no life outside of being Mom and Dad? I totally remember thinking that my parents went to bed when I went to bed and were only on this earth to take care of my sisters and I. It's so strange and funny to think they were people, just like Jake and I. They probably did the same thing when I was a kid. It's funny how being a mom can change your whole perspective on your own parents in that time period of your life.

Isaiah is too old to trick in to shots and Christian has a girlfriend.

Today was awesome. Which is funny because I totally thought it was going to be a mental break down day because we had so much to do! I think being busy kept us from bickering and the kids were all in all pretty good today :) The one sad side of my day was realizing how old Isaiah is and how he's a little boy now, not a baby :(

Isaiah had his four year Well Child Check-up today.He knew what was coming, you know, those fun little things called shots! We had talked about it that morning. He asked what we were doing for the day and I told him we would be going to the doctor. He asked why and I explained it was a check-up. Then he asked the question: "Am I going to get shots?" This was the first time that I had to actually rationally explain them to him and why he had to get them. Jake and I laughed as he literally tried to bargain with us NOT to get shots.

 It was such a strange experience for me. Jake stayed out in the waiting room with the other two while I took him back in the room. And we had a full on conversation about his check up and what they would be doing. He made me explain to him why he had to get naked. He said "But Mommy, then they will see my pee-pee and my butt!" Such is life little man, the joys of the doctor! That's kind of how I feel about going for my annual too :) But it was just so weird to see how much he had grown, matured and developed in only a year! He was cracking the nurse and I up with his witty comments and silly faces. My favorite part was at the end when it was time for shots. He literally hid under the table and even Jake could not reach him to get him out. Then he said "Alright, I will come out, but I want the Snoopy band-aids first." Negotiating, maybe he'll be a politician? God I hope not.


After the doctor we went to lunch at Chili's and discovered that Arielle has an amazing grasp on rhythm for her age. Every song that came on, EVERY song, she would start bobbing her head and dancing in her high chair. So cute! And all in all the boys were really good and we had a nice lunch. Afterwards we headed to the park.....and that's where the trouble began. I looked up and saw this:

Christian found a girlfriend. Now, if you know Christian, this is hilarious because he is pretty shy and I have never seen him take interest in girls. But he sure took a liking to this little girl! They were holding hands the WHOLE time we were there! Taking each other places and chatting up a storm. I can honestly say it was one of the cutest things I've ever seen. It made my heart so happy! And scared for the future at the same time. At one point the little girl's dad said "Where is he taking her?" and a Grandpa there said "To Vegas!" Oh boy, please no!

The boys also got hair cuts, and Jake had them cut Christian's hair short this time. I love it and hate it at the same time! Where is my baby? The boys look so much alike now too. Here are my handsome men:

Disneyland and Peanut Butter

Disneyland and Peanut Butter were the hi-lights of my day today.

Jake and I decided for Christian's birthday this year that instead of buying him another toy that he probably, okay totally, doesn't need, we are going to make a trip to Disneyland before he turns 3 and we have to pay for him :) Because let's face it, Disneyland is ridiculously expensive and we all know that Walt Disney is rolling in his grave at the money grubbing place that has turned into. That aside, we are so excited, PUMPED would be the word, to go! Creating memories at places like that is far better than any toy we could buy him anyway.  Ever since we made the decision to go (at the end of February) Isaiah has been trying to get Christian pumped for it. It's so cute to hear him talk to him like that!

In fact, Isaiah and I are so excited that we measured him today to see if he would be tall enough to be able to go on the rides he wasn't tall enough for last year. I pretty much knew he would be because that kid has grown like a weed the past six months! I just bought him a ton of 4T clothes, and they are already too short on him :( He'll be starting kindergarten this year, crazy! But that's a whole other post. Anyway, he is 41 inches, one inch over what he needs to be for all the cool rides. Woo hoo! Not to mention 1 1/4 inches taller since the last time we measured him in August! Apparently my eyes were accurate when they thought he was a lot taller.

After we measured him he wanted to look at all of the rides he would be able to go on that he couldn't go on last year. Thank God for YouTube when you have demanding toddlers. What did we do when we were little and wanted to know something right then and there? We sure couldn't google it! So the rest of the night we watched YouTube videos of Space Mountain and Thunder Mountain and he proceeded to tell me that he was brave enough and ready to go on those rides, tomorrow! Ummm......try explaining to a 4 year old we still have almost 2 months to go. Not fun. None the less, I loved seeing him get so excited about his first time on those rides! I remember being little and being excited for that too, and now I'm watching my own son get excited for his first rides....wow, I'm getting old :(

While Isaiah and I were having our fun talks about Disneyland, Arielle was having some fun of her own. With the peanut butter. It was awfully quiet in the kitchen where I had last seen her head in the direction of, so I went to check. And this my friends is what I found......

It's a good thing she looked really cute doing it because, let me tell you, that was one interesting shower to give and one not-so-fun mess to clean up! Oh but that face :) It melts me!

2012 started out kind of crappy. Literally......

If there is any type of person who knows more about poop than gastroenterologists or proctologists, it's a mom. Guaranteed. I've seen it all. Well, unfortunately probably not,  but I have seen so much variety in types of poop I could possibly write one of those funny bathroom books (or..changing table book? hmmm..). I've seen more of a variety in color, smell, and texture in poop than I ever thought possible. Am I proud of this? You betcha, because it means I'm doing my job as a mom!! Yep, monitoring poop. Bet you never thought you would wear the badge of "Poop Police" as a mom, did you? Well, you will. 24-7.

Let's add monitoring poop to the list of "Things I'd never thought I'd say or do in Life."  There have been so many times when Jake has been changing a diaper in the back room and a conversation from the front of the house to the back of the house ensues like this: "How's his poop?" "Um...poop I guess.." "Yeah, but was it diarrhea?" "Umm, kind of." "Watery? Or Pasty?" "Sort of in between I guess." "Well did it smell like diarrhea?" - the conversation usually ends there with "I don't know, come and look!"

Now, you may be thinking (okay, PROBABLY thinking), "Eeew! Disgusting!" or "What a freak, is she obsessed with poop?". Justified, I"ll give you that. But no, I'm a mom. It happens. I consider it part of my job to make sure my kids are healthy and part of that is pooping...right? I don't obsess every day about every poop, but certain circumstances warrant "poop monitoring". Like the one last night with Christian.

This is a lot of talk about poop so I'll make this short. He hadn't pooped in 5 days, and was REALLY uncomfortable. It was really sad. Trust me, I tried every home remedy. That kid had cement in his intestines apparently. Why? Oh, because he and Isaiah like to try and sneak the entire block of cheese out of the refrigerator and share it hunkered down in a corner. Anyway, off to the Emergency Room we went last night after nothing had helped and he was really hurting. Sadly, as I had suspected, poor guy got an "oh so fun" enema. Needless to say, my night consisted of holding down (with all my weight and two other adults) my screaming son while they did what NOBODY wants done to them, and a lot of poop. Poop everywhere. It was really sad, but it worked.

I hated holding him down while he screamed for me to hold him. While he screamed to just go home. But sometimes when you're a mom you have to do things you really don't want to do but have to because you know it's what's best for your child.

Hmmmm, kind of reminds me of what God must feel like a lot.....

Behind the Title....

"Wow, you've got your hands full, don't you?" - I really, truly cannot even begin to count how many times I've heard that from strangers. It's one thing coming from family or friends who know that you really do have your hands full and are sympathizing with you, but I don't know what it is about strangers saying that to me that drives me bonkers!

Don't get me wrong, I know that most people don't mean anything by it and are merely making an observation and trying to make casual conversation. BUT, why can't you say "Oh, how cute!" or "Wow, how blessed are you?" or even "Boy, you sure are busy but how lucky are you?". Those are just a couple of more positive comments I can think of off the top of my head.

When people make rude comments, and trust me, I've heard it all, I often think of the Duggars with 19 children. Or I think of the people (and they are out there even if you think I'm being heartless) who play the system and literally time when they have a kid to stay on government funds. For goodness sake people, I only have THREE kids, THREE! And I love them, take care of them and support them. Arielle was not planned at all, "oopsies" do happen, and what a wonderful surprise she was :) It's preposterous to me how now a days having three kids is worthy of long stares, or dirty looks when they act like kids.

Let me just tell you the things I've heard. I will never forget one day that I had to go to Target to get medicine and Jake was at work. I loaded up the boys in the cart and put Arielle in the baby carrier. As I was walking through the parking lot, an older gentleman was leaning against his car smoking a cigarette and yelled out "Boy! That's a lot of kids. Here comes the circus!" Yeah, that's right buddy, stare at the freak show going by while you suck on your death stick. God forbid I actually had serious problems going on and you just added to it with that lovely comment! Or the time my sister, who also has three kids, was at Costco and an older gentleman walked up to her and said (no joke!) "Can't you F&$*ing control yourself?". Let's not even comment on that one....

We get stares everywhere we go, even when I am with Jake. Imagine the stares I get alone. That is why I stay home when he is at work. I avoid the public as much as possible. Why? Because people don't think before they speak.

As my pastor has said recently, "You never truly know someone until you know their story." So before you judge that frumpy Mom with three kids in her cart, that homeless person begging for money on the street, or that grumpy person in line at the grocery store, stop and think. What might they being going through? You have no idea until you know their story.

So yes, my hands are full, but so is my heart.

January 1, 2012: A fresh start.

I'm not a fan of New Years Resolutions. If you ask me, it's setting yourself up for failure and disappointment with yourself. Well, at least that has been my experience. However, I am all for bettering yourself and thus bettering the life you live and New Years seems like the perfect time to reflect on that and your surroundings and what you can do to change the world. Yes, I said change the world. I know it's a tough concept to look past ourselves and the fact that life may not be all about you personally, but that's what I believe. The following may be the biggest snowballing scenario you've ever encountered. Bear with me.

So I don't like New Years Resolutions, but that doesn't mean that I won't be setting goals for myself in the New Year. I could pick eating healthier and dieting, but I think that has been my goal for the past 12 New Years...so....onto bigger and better things, shall we? My goals for the coming year are as follows:
   1. Get more organized.
   2. Get more organized.
   3. Get more organized.
I think you catch my drift. I have never been an organized person and I've always been a procrastinator. It was sort of my guilty pleasure and my way of "living on the edge" (Skydiving? Nah. Motorcycle riding? Nah. I get my kicks being disorganized.). But all of that was before I had kids. Now I have these three beautiful, healthy kiddos who are dependent on me...DEPENDENT on ME....the disorganization Queen. Unfortunately I must admit it has taken a tole on our life at home. It has made for utter chaos, stress and confusion at home. In fact, I avoid being home so that I don't have to deal with it. Now, mind you, most people would say it's not even that bad. But I think that when you have three kids four and under, life is hard enough. Now throw in being disorganized into the mix = catistrophic mental breakdowns on a more frequent basis than I would like (or Jake would like as well I assume).

Remember the snowballing I mentioned? Here we go. Getting more organized may not seem like that important of a goal. But the way I see it is being more organized = people in my home being happier. My kids feeling more secure and feeling like they have more structure. Hearing Mommy and Daddy argue less because things won't be so crazy (they'll just be moderately crazy). And all of these things will lead to my kids being more productive in society, more stable with good values to pass on to the next generation. They will hopefully see Mommy and Daddy working together through chaos and conflict to create an organized, loving, fruitful home and hopefully carry into their own marriage which is now a dying concept.

And that my friends is how I plan on changing the world starting in 2012. One cute little face turned into men and a woman I can be proud of at a time.