Being a parent is not for the faint of heart.

And to think, I haven't even reached the difficult stuff yet! Well, changing diapers every hour, not sleeping and dealing with tantrums is rather exhausting which makes it difficult, but I'm talking D-I-F-F-I-C-U-L-T. Like when your teenage daughter brings home a boy with dime sized diamonds in his ears and his pants sagging so far down his a*$ he can't even reach to get his wallet. Or when your son wants to go to Mexico with his friends at 17 and party. Boy oh boy, I'm glad I have some time before that stuff comes knocking at my door! But in a weird way, I'm also looking forward to it. Because those are the parenting opportunities that will shape your kids into who they will become in society. Those are the difficult times that when all is said and done, no matter how hard, you'll be glad that you stuck to your parenting guns and cracked down on them. Not that changing diapers isn't an important parenting task, but wiping poop off of a little tushy isn't exactly going to shape who they are. 

Jake and I watched Courageous last night. It really got me fired up and thinking even more about a topic that I feel so completely passionate about. Fatherhood. Now, don't go pointing fingers yet moms because this totally applies to us to. Fatherhood. Motherhood. IMPORTANT. CRUCIAL. LIFE ALTERING. Sadly, our world has long ago lost site of the importance of, arguably, the most important job on earth. Parenting. We've all heard the saying: "Any fool can conceive a child, but it takes a real man to be a Dad." Statements don't get much truer than that. Any guy can have a great time and walk away, but it takes a man, a courageous man to stay and fight the good fight for their child's life. The same goes for moms, we must keep going, no matter how tired and stressed we are. No matter how hard or impossible it seems because it is our job! And it is an important job!

Now, don't go thinking I'm a perfect parent. Huh! Far from it. I have my days when I want to give up. In fact, last year was hands down the hardest year of my life. I wanted to give up on a daily basis. Juggling three kids three and under, all in diapers, was no party. It was stressful and for most of it I felt like I was in a fog. But now that the fog is starting to clear, I'm so incredibly happy and grateful that Jake and I kept going. A lot of couples would have been divorced by now with the stress we went through, but we fought hard and kept our heads above water and just..kept...going. Now that things are starting to get easier, I can not express to you how happy I am that we held on and kept going because I know that our marriage is becoming stronger than ever even after our weakest point and I know that we will be good models to our children.

After watching that movie I was so sad. So sad that so many kids in this world do not have people to love on them and push them in the right direction. The statistics are staggering. I will share a few with you that will shock you:

§  According to a U.S, Census Bureau report , over 25 million children live apart from their biological fathers. That is 1 out of every 3 (34.5%) children in America. Nearly 2 in 3 (65%) African American children live in fatherless homes. Nearly 4 in 10 (36%) Hispanic children, and nearly 3 in 10 (27%) white children live in fatherless homes.

§  From 1960 to 1995, the proportion of children living in single-parent homes have tripled, increasing from 9 percent to 27 percent, and the proportion of children living with married parents declined.

§  Between 1960 and 2006, the number of children living in single-mother families grew from 8 percent to 23.3 percent.

§  34 percent of children currently live apart from their biological father.

§  Today, half of all children, and 80 percent of African American children, can expect to live at least part of their childhood living apart from their fathers.                           

If you think those are shocking, these literally shook me to my core. They made me sick to my stomach and stirred up a passion in me I cannot describe:

1)     63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes 

--U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census

2)     85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes 

--Center for Disease Control

3)     80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes 

--Criminal Justice and Behavior, Vol. 14, p. 403-26

4)     71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes 

--National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools

5)     70% of juveniles in state operated institutions come from fatherless homes 

--U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report Sept., 1988

6)     85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home 

--Fulton County Georgia jail populations & Texas Dept. of Corrections, 1992

And some more devastating statistics about fatherless homes:

• Children in fatherless homes are 5 times more likely to commit suicide 
• Children in fatherless homes are 32 times more likely to run away 
• Children in fatherless homes are 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders 
• Children in fatherless homes are 14 times more likely to commit rape 
• Children in fatherless homes are 9 times more likely to drop out of school
• Children in fatherless homes are 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances
• Children in fatherless homes are 9 times more likely to end up in a state operated institution 
• Childrenin fatherless homes are 20 times more likely to end up in prison 

So men, if you think for even an instant that you are not needed, you could not be more wrong. You are not only needed in your child's life but you are CRUCIAL in your child's life. It's constantly pushed in media today that women don't need a man to have a baby, they only need sperm. Now, read the statistics above and try to tell me that women do not need men to raise a child. The statistics don't lie. 

Step up and be a man. Step up and be a DAD to your child, even if he/she was not planned or anticipated. It's the greatest thing you will ever do and the greatest gift you can ever give to our world.